Acceptance....

isn't always an easy thing to do.

I'm speaking for myself when I write this.

Since September our lives got turned upside down,

it was truly a miracle that this condition was found

when the doctors did!

If the hadn't, we probably would be in a much harder position right now.

At first, I was trying to do it all:

making lists, picking up/giving medications, going to

doctors appointments, all while trying to do everything I did before.

After all, I worked taking care of 4 handicap/disabled people at Copper Homes, 

 so this should be easy, right?

Well, I've accepted the fact that no, this isn't the same:

1. This is my baby that I would give my own heart to if I could.

2. I don't get to go home at the end of the day and relax.

3. I'm one of a few making decisions that will effect how her life will be later down the road.

4. Needing to seek help via counseling and medications is not something someone weak does

(Much the opposite-that was a hard one for me to accept)

5. This not only affects me, but how much attention I'm giving to the rest of my family

6. I haven't had time to process the first operation fully before this last procedure came to be

7. I'm a very faith filled person so why is it so hard to just hand my worries over to God?

8. I never thought of myself as an anxious person,

but you learn a lot about yourself when thrust into situation like this.  

9. Keeping myself busy, doesn't allow me to stop and reflect on

what's going on around me. 

10. It's not easy having to put your faith and trust someone with one of the most

precious thing in your life- over and over again.

I'm still in the processing stage

and taking it day by day.

 

I'm working on accepting the fact that even with this

new operation, Evie will still have high blood pressure.

There is no 'fix'.  She will be dealing with this the rest of her life.

It may improve it, but not entirely.

Our cardiologist still needs to review the pictures and

will be getting back to us so that we will have a more definite plan

in the upcoming months.

Thanks for praying and loving us...it means more than I can put into words.

This has been one of my daily prayers:

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.